Yudany's essay

What is the best approach to raise children? Mothers are guardian angels regardless of their unique approach to guard their children. Often time’s society portrays mothers as if they are all equal and it is not; that is a misconception. Mothers are dolls in all sizes and color. Often time mothers are very caring and over protective to the point of spoiling their children. But my mother brought me up in a totally different maternal environment. When my parents decided to take different paths in life my mother was too young and poorly prepared to be in charge of her self and me. As she was learning how to survive in a world full of challenge at the same time she was raising me. I was sent to school when I was three years old. As most little kids I was afraid of the dark and my mother made go to the bathroom by myself. I would cry, but she would not come with me. She taught me that fear only existed in me mind and to get rid of it. She taught me how to roller blade in big roller blades, she taught me to ride a regular bike. She taught me to be strong at all times. When I turned six in one night she taught me how to read, write and how to add, subtract, multiply and divide. From that day on I had to do my homework on my own. It was intense and I thought it was too early but I could not disobey her. If I wanted something I had to wait for to her buy it when she felt I needed it, not before. While other kids would be playing around and getting the latest toys, I was reading or writing and did not get what everybody had.
Years later seeking better opportunities for me we came to the United States when I was thirteen. She did not want me to grow in the Dominican Republic for the lack of progress. My mother whose name is Dinorah had high expectations of me. When I went to high school, one counselor told me it was going to be hard for me to perform well in a school that did not have a bilingual program and I might fail the grade. I was terrified but my mother made me go to that school and told me to what I knew how to do. My mother never helped me with anything regardless of my schoolwork but I must bring home excellent grades. As I grew older I was the one responsible to go and pay the bills of the house. She would only give me the bills and I had to made the calculations and tell her the amount of money she had to give me. To this day I do not have a cell phone because she took it away. I am the one responsible for my education and I made my own decisions. I follow all her rules and follow our moral values.
As I was reading the story “ The Sky is Gray “ by Ernest J. Gaines, I was astonished by the connection I discovered between James, the main character, and myself. “Then I catch her kind of looking where I’m. I smile at her a little bit. But think she’ll smile back.” (Pg. 91) When I read this quote I had a spontaneous flashback. James a boy of only eight years old growing up during the times period of Jim Crow was acting like a man to satisfy his mother. “ I love my mama and I want put my arm round her. But I’m not supposed to do that. She say that’s weakness and crybaby stuff…”(Pg. 84). I almost cry because I have experienced the feeling of hugging my mother but she is not the type of caring and loving mother. He is afraid of the dark just as I was but his mother also made him confront his fear. He was hungry and cold and did not say anything. Always looking straight because his mother told him. It is hard for an eight-year-old boy to act this way. I thought of my childhood and sympathize deeply with him.
How can a story change you? “The Sky is Gray” is a story that shows the fears and intimidation of the black society due to racism and the era of Jim Crow. Just as my mother all of a sudden had to step out and raise me when she and my father separated, James’ mother had to step out and more than anything protect James after his father was sent to the army. James mother was training James to survive and to not be a victim of the Jim Crow era. Being aware that his mother’s approach to raise him was to prepare him for life and to survive and that she did it because she loves him with all her heart made see my mother’s approach to raise me from a different perspective. As well as James’s mother I understood that my mother loves me and that all she does is because of that maternal love and responsibility. My mother has been training me to be successful and be able to confront all types of circumstances. To survive in this society and in the United States as minority. It is hard to be a Latina and I realize that all my mother did and does is because she knows that to function well in this country and anywhere I go I have to be strong, independent and have a good education. The story opened my eyes and helped me to appreciate my mother more.
Even though James mother and my mother have similar approach to prepare us for life they have their differences. The age and time period is very different and thank god I have not experienced discrimination in the same level as James did. His mother was more concern to mentally prepare him to be saved and keep him away from getting in conflict with white people. As in the other hand my mother have been preparing me to be successful in life and to function well in a society in which regardless of the fact that the Latino race is a minority there are many opportunities to take advantage of. It has been a preparation to be independent, open minded and educated rather than to protect me from racial conflicts. The different purpose of their method of raising us also has a bigger impact. Different personalities are built and different path are taken. The way James being raised I predict he is going to be independent and strong as well as a hard-worker person. However, his mother has also taught him to be just a black person who knows his place and to not go against the white people. As in terms of race I have been taught that race is not a frontier/ barrier for me. I have no limits; I only have to fight my way there with effort and a good education. The world and society for which we were trained is different.
As a kid during the civil rights movement at an early stage one had a conclusive racial identity and awareness of what position in society that specific race had. Now days we still struggle with racism but in a smaller scale. Now as a kid race is just cultural and background identity. After, all I have come to realize that there is no right, wrong, better or worst approach to raise a child. Mothers are different and the way they raise their child depends on many things. Race, socioeconomics and background also play a role on the approach the heart of a mother chooses to raise their child.
Nothing in life is totally good or bad. Everything has its pros and cons, as well as there is matter and anti-matter. A loving and spoiling mother makes life easier for their kids but their kids may or may not learn how to live life on their own. A strict and “cold” mother helps prepare their kids for life and to confront adversity, but love is also an essential component of ones happiness. There is no school to teach mothers how to be a mother and there is no school to teach kids how to be kids. It is natural instinct which one follows and acquire through experiences. Which makes me think; what type of mother would I be?